Selfish Love
by HazelD
Summary: Bella and Edward are in the woods. Edward tells Bella, he's leaving and that he doesn't love her anymore. She refuses to live without him. Alice calls Edward and tells him what Bella is planning. How will Edward deal with this? How will Bella react?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: New Moon belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**The beginning is from New Moon pg48**

"Bella, we're leaving"

I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared. But still I had to ask.

"Why now? Another year…"

'Bella, its time. How much longer could we stay in forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass as thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless.

His answer confused me. I thought the point in leaving is to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him trying to understand what he meant.

"When you say we-" I whispered.

"I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct.

I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. It took a few minutes to gather my thoughts so I was able to speak.

"Okay," I said. "I'll come with you"

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you"

"Where you are is the right place for me"

"I'm no good for you, Bella"

"Don't be ridiculous" I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," he said grimly.

"Well that's just sucks because you are my world, Edward," I felt like I couldn't breathe. "And you should of thought about the possible outcomes before I fell in love with you," Tears unwillingly pouring down my cheeks, this was a fight I couldn't afford to lose, I could not lose my Edward, even the thought made my knees weak, I grabbed on to a branch to steady myself. "What happened with Jasper was nothing, Edward!"

"Your right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected"

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay…"

"As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me.

"No! Don't you understand, does the fact that I'm with you mean that I care more for you than my own life, that I allowed myself to be tortured to save you" I choked on almost every word, I wanted to be furious with him for even thinking that I could survive without him.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the word slowly and precise, every word stabbing into my already wounded heart like a butcher knife, his cold eyes never leaving my pain-filled eyes. I could see no remorse at all in his features, he was serious.

"You...don't…want me?" I tried out the words, confused by how they sounded.

"No,"

I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He started back without apology.

"Bella, I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not, I am not human

"Don't do this"

"Your not god for me, Bella"

I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it again. What was I suppose to say. How am I supposed to react when the person you loved more than your own life doesn't want you anymore? I won't be selfish, I'll give him want he wants, or at least I'll try.

"If…that's what you want"

He nodded once. My whole body went num

"I would like to ask you one favor, if that's not too much" he said.

"Anything"

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid" he ordered. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I looked away, did he think I was going to live without him. True love only comes around once and I didn't plan on living any longer to test that theory.

"Bella, do you understand?" he demanded anxiously.

"Edward," It already pained me to speak his name. "Yes, I do understand. But I'm not about to live without you"

Agony touched his face at that moment; I knew he tried hard to hide it.

"Bella, don't be stupid, that won't…" His cell phone buzzed, he held up a finger and turned around before answering.

I thought about how I would die, knowing that this might keep him around. I wouldn't kill myself, it would hurt Charlie, but I could pretend. If that would keep my beloved Edward close then why not?

"Alice… ok… fine, bye" He muttered. Took a deep breathe and turned to me with an agonized expression.

Alice. She had probably seen me attempt to kill myself. She called and told him. I felt ashamed for even thinking that. It would hurt her.

"Juliet could never live without her Romeo; she made a choice not too. I and she are more similar than I thought" He would stay as long as I kept this act up. But was I really that selfish, he didn't want me, I wasn't going to guilt him into a relationship.

"Bella, don't" he couldn't hide the agony in his face this time.

"It's okay, I'm not going to guilt you into a relationship, I'm unselfish enough to put your happiness before mine, just know that I love you Edward, forever and always"

I looked down, tears streaming down my face again. Edward grabbed my waist pulled me tightly against his chest and kissed my lips hungrily. His lips moved urgently, shaping mine. He ran his hand up and down my back, which was more than a physical interaction we ever had, which more than he allowed. He paused.

"Bella, it's impossible to lie to you, I truly love and only want for you to be safe" He muttered.

What does that mean? I was so confused, but I didn't want to question him right now, I needed him too. More than ever. He paused and stared into my eyes.

"You really love me more than your own life?"

"Yes" I whispered breathlessly.

"Than you leave me no other option" He bent his head, pressed his lips to my neck. He took a breath. Before I could even panic, and tell him I wasn't ready. He bit me.

I Screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

**AlicePOV**

"TURN AROUND! HE BIT HER" I spoke loud enough so Carlisle would be able to here me in the other car. I heard gasps all around as my family took in what I said.

"NO! What has he done, did she ask? what happened Alice?" Carlisle spoke quickly. His mercedes made a U-turn and sped up. Emmett quickly followed his lead and both cars sped down the highway, swerving to miss cars.

"He asked her if she loved him more than her own life, she replied yes. And then he bit her" My voice broke on the last sentence. I've seen Bella become one of us since the very beginning, but not now, not when we were on our way to Los Angeles, to get as far away from her as possible. Edward never wanted this fate for her. I would of never expected this, how could he go against all the rules he set so that she would live a full human life. My head started tingling, and I thought hard inviting the vision eagerly.

'I saw Charlie, Bella's father, holding a note that read "Gone for a walk on path with Edward, be back soon, Bella." Obviously Edward had forged it. Bella's writing wasn't that neat. He was going to go look for her' End of vision. I gasped. He knows shes with Bella. Jasper put his arm around my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

"Love, what did you see" he said, also sending calm waves to me.

"Charlie reading a note that Edward wrote saying that Bella and him were going for a walk, he decided to go look for her" I choked out. Fear that we would be discovered suddenly overcame me, and I felt Jasper stiffen. No doubt he would know what I was feeling.

"Oh dear" I heard Esme say from the other car. Carlisle increased speed, so did Emmett. We were going at 125km/h.

"How could he have of done that, what exposure, and Charlie knows Bella's with him. How could we possibly explain this?" Carlisle said, his voice sounded strained.

"I don't know what he was thinking, I wish I did." I sighed. I leaned into Jasper, and rested my head on his shoulder. I looked around. Emmett looked tense. Rosalie was clearly pissed off. I looked out the window, as all the tree blurred. We were nearing the small town of Forks.

**BellaPOV**

I Screamed.

I. Am. Burning. The pain is searing, agonizing, insufferable and absolutely unbearable. But I have no choice, I have to bear this pain. I would wish for death to come a million times instead of burning. But I knew I wouldn't die. Edward bit me, and now I was transforming and becoming immortal. You would think this was my dream come true considering how I begged and pleaded for this fate. But I couldn't bring myself to feel thankful. I can't think straight, well of course not. I Am On FIRE! The little thoughts I had that weren't about the pain I was feeling, is how Charlie would be affected by this. Its almost a year since I moved in with my dad and I had to leave him already. I was going to be a vampire. I didn't know alot about vampires, I wonder how it will be, the first few months I mean. Would it be hard to resist human blood. I guessed that it would. Arghh! The burn is just getting worse. I cant beleive this. I felt cold hands lift me from where I lay. A cold breath on my cheek. The pain did not decrease. The cold hand did not even cure the burning at the slightest. I felt cool wind breeze past me, still it did not affect the agonizing burn that I still felt. I assumed I was being moved. Then I thought of Edward. I was shocked that he would even think to bite me, much less do it. He never wanted me to become apart of his mythical world. Which I assume was the reason he planed on leaving me. How long have I been burning. It felt like years. When was it going to end. When will the pain finally sto-

"Oh no, what have I done? I doomed the love of my life." A beautiful voice came from my side. Edward. His voice was comforting although I still burned. Concentrating on his distracted me from the burning, but only a little. I heard his footsteps. It sounded like, he was pacing. He then gasped. I heard many footsteps then, all nearing me.

"Edward, what have you done"

"Aw, oh dear Bella"

"I should of seen this coming!"

"A newborn, shes gonna be a handful"

"You Idiot!"

"Aw Eddie, this is a major problem"

I heard all these voices within a second of eachother. I could make out every one. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. My new family.

I continued burning, awaiting my future with these people. These vampires. The pain still hasn't decreased. My heart racing faster. I tried to concentrate on those around me, trying to keep my mind of the burning feeling. I heard a sigh.

Edward spoke.


	3. Chapter 3

**BellaPOV**

_Edward spoke._

"You don't know how utterly ashamed I am of myself, I just lose myself when I'm with Bella like that, I couldn't think straight. I let the monster inside of me get in control for a mere 5 seconds and all this happened. I ruined her life all for my selfish love" he started sobbing lightly, and I suddenly felt the need to comfort him, I was not mad at Edward, how could I be when I was sure of this future. I wanted to hold him close and whisper in his ear that I love him, unconditionally and irrevocablly, nothing would change that. This would be the beginning of my forever, no, our forever. My new family and myself. I couldn't help but to think of Charlie. I immediately stopped my thoughts, not wanting to think about that. The burning became more precise and I needed a distraction.

"Edward, noone is blaming you..." Esme's beautiful voice filled the room, then was suddenly cut off by a menacing snarl.

"I am, this is all your fault. How could you risk exposure over that girl. Have you even thought of the consequences of your actions, don't you know Charlie Swan is going out to look for her as we speak. And to make it worse you forged a note saying she was with you in the woods? You imbecile!!! Your a self centered, dimwited ass-"

"Thats enough Rosalie, insults will not help our problem" said Carlisle. "We all need to think of a good explanation for Cheif Swan and the rest of the town-"

"No we don't, we've moved remember, let's just take Bella with us and if her dad calls just say Edward broke up with her in the woods, she was so devasted she wanted to leave Forks. And while Charlie is out looking for her, we sneak into her house leave another note saying shes running away, then take her truck and leave it somewhere in Seattle. Bam everythings good and life moves on" Wait was that Emmett, he sounded intelligent. There was silence, and I felt the burn once again. It was all over me now, burning every ounce of my body. Why was it so quiet, had every one left, left me all alone burning? I heard Alice let out a short high pitch scream.

"Thats actually a good idea Emmett, it'll work I can see it now. We need to plan this out properly though. Lets go to the dining room and discuss this more, before Bella is done, it won't be long now. She going to be so pretty"

Edward hissed, "Bella was never merely pretty"

"Yes, Yes I know, Bella is stunning, blah blah blah. Now let's hurry up if we want to do this right"

I heard footsteps moving farther away from me. Silence. I needed another distraction. The burning was now in the center of my mind, and it hurt more then ever. I was panting, my heart was beating like a horse galloping in a big race. I don't know how long I've been lying here burning. Once in awhile i'll here a light sobb or a heavy sigh, but that lasted for about 2 seconds, then the burn would come back into the center of my mind, and be worse than ever. It seemed like months before I felt the the pain leave my toes, slowly saving me. The pain decreased from all my body parts slowly and began to build up in my heart. My heart was beating so fast, you'd think it was going to jump out of my chest. I heard footsteps quickly near me. And I felt hope. My hearts speed kept increasing, then suddenly the speed softened, sputtered then completely stopped. My heart had completely stopped beating. I wasn't breathing. I wasn't human anymore. I opened my eyes. I could see everything, every little detail in the ceiling, I took a deep breath, I could taste everything too. The room spelled like lavender. My throat was burning, but I didn't care right now. I sat up.

Edward was infront of me staring at me with an emotion on his face that I didn't understand. The others were standing behind him. Jasper and Emmett crouching protectively infront of the others. I sat there staring at them all for a few minutes, taking it all in.

"Bella, please say something" Edward said, his voice strained. It made me sad. I stood up and was now infront of him.

"Thanks for the warning Edward" I spoke confidently, in my new bell-like voice. "You could of at least given me time to prepare" I smiled. I tippy-toed until I could feel his breath on my face and kissed him. He seemed to hesitate. And I felt the pain of rejection I immediately pulled away, took 5 quick steps back and looked at my shoes. I was wear white nikes. I sighed and spoke.

"I'm guessing you don't feel the same way about me anymore, maybe you meant it when you said you didn't want me-" I was interupted when a pair of lips came crashing down on mine. Edward pulled me tightly to his body. He moaned into my lips which sent a spark of electricity through my body. It felt good. I wound my hands in his hair. He grabbed my butt and lifted me slightly so he wouldn't have to bend his head. We continued like this for God knows how long. I didn't need to breathe so we didn't need to stop.

We were interupted by Emmett's booming laughter. "Get in there Eddie, whooo hooo" I gasped, and stepped away from Edward, he loosened his grip and stepped with me resting his hands on my waist. He smiled his crooked-smile and I waited for the blush that never came. I would never blush again. I smiled back.

"Isabella Marie Cullen? hm or I might just go with Bella, yes Bella Cullen" My smile widened.

Alice squealed, and ran towards me. "Welcome to the family, Bella. I just can't wait to take you shopping" she jumped up and down holding my hands, before she leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. Everyone soon followed by gathered around me hugging me and welcoming me to the family. Rose even smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes, and Jasper apologized for what happened.

"Bella, I am absolutely delighted to have you in our family, you don't know what joy you bring us all" Esme said.

"Thank you so much Esme, you don't know how much that means to me"

"Yes Bella, I am happy that you are now a Cullen" Carlisle added.

"I'm also happy, thanks for everything" I smiled and leaned into Edward.

Carlisle turned serious "But, we really need to discuss what were going to do, oh but of course you should go hunting first, the burning mus be bothering you"

"hunting?" I choked out.

"Yes it'll be better if you hunted to get rid of the burning in your throat, Edward, Jasper and Alice will go with you"

"Oh okay, Fine I guess" I was nervous about hunting.

"Yes, well hurry back once you've finished" Carlisle said then turned and followed Esme out the door.

"We'll wait for you down stairs" said Alice taking Jasper hand and hurrying out the door with Emmett and Rose on their tail.

I sighed and turned to face Edward, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly to his chest. He rested his forhead on mine.

"I love you with all my heart Isabella"

"I love you Edward, unconditionally and irrevocably" he smiled and kissed me passionately, massaging my tongue with his. I moaned and muttered against his lips.

"Forever"

"And ever and ever and ever" he muttered back.

I heard a banging on the door, Edward froze and pulled away staring into my eyes.

"Uhm Edward, Bella. Charlie's outside with a whole SWAT team" Alice whispered.

My eyes widened. I took a deep breath and my throat burst into flames. I was thirsty.

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**and please feel free to share your ideas with me. thanks.**


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